How to Control Anger?

Anger! An emotion everyone experiences very often and are afraid of. The fear is not about anger itself but what we do when it envelopes us. It's like a storm which consumes us and makes us do things which we would not have done under normal circumstances. It makes us loose control on ourselves, we loose the sense of discretion and logical thinking, and finally it leaves a lot of damage behind which makes us regret our actions and carry the regret for rest of our lives.

Now to tackle this beast we need to understand it better. I am jotting down my understanding of Anger, lets see if it makes things clear about Anger.

1. Anger is a form of energy which wants to come out of our system

Like Joy, Happiness, Sorrow and Fear, Anger is an emotional energy which wants to be released and expressed by our system. Some people express it by throwing things and some by withdrawing themselves from the situation. When we are not able to express our energies in a positive and constructive manner, it can result in anger. Which is basically a forceful expression of our energies.

2. Anger depends upon our Internal State of Being, than the external situations

The reasons for getting angry are many and it's simply useless to list them. We can get angry on or because of anything or anybody. For example while driving if some one overtakes us rashly we can get angry and go after him and if the same thing happens when you are in a happy mood, you may just ignore that person. So the happenings because of which we get angry are only triggers, what is more important is in what state we are in at the moment. We have to understand that Anger is dependent on the state in which our mind, body and emotions are and not on external situations. If we can maintain out internal situation in a state of balance and calm, no external situation can cause anger to be generated in us. (Internal situation can be maintained better by understanding the Characteristics of Mind.)

3. Physical effects of Anger

Anger is like a disease which can be monitored by watching out for the symptoms. There are many symptoms for Anger:
Change in breathing pattern, heavy breathing, increase in body temperature, increased thought flow, loss of logical thinking, loss of discretionary thinking, increased hormonal (adrenalin) flow in the stomach and other part of the body etc.,
If we can observe these symptoms we can maintain a distance from anger and control it better.

4. Anger happens when our desires are not fulfilled

The basic trigger of anger are when our desires are not met. All the triggers of anger are just that, our unfulfilled desires, whether it's a desire to cruse smoothly on road, or have a quite undisturbed dinner with a loved one. When someone or something causes these desires to be unfulfilled it triggers the already bubbling volcano of anger inside and it results in we exploding in anger. (you can check out my article on What is a Desire for more information on desire)

If we can understand these characteristics of anger we will be in a better situation to handle it when it comes out and we can also take steps to prevent it from building up to the breaking point in the first place.

The various steps we can take to prevent anger building up and to control it when it comes out are:

1. Delay taking any action when we are angry. It's best sit through the storm of anger than do anything to express it.
2. Watch the show, Don't stop it. The trick is to just let things happen and watch the show. If your breathing is going up - Watch it, if you are getting hot - Watch it, If you are getting a strong urge to throw things around -  Watch it. Keep watching and slowly the anger will loose steam and come to a halt. If we try to stop it, the energy will go back inside the system and will wait for next opportunity to come out.
3.Yoga and Mediation will help in channeling the energy in the system in a proper and will help in preventing the energy build up which will lead to anger bursts. It will help in maintaining our internal situation in a balanced and peaceful state.
4.Physical exercise can help in dissipating the excess energy and can help in preventing anger.

Basically it's about understanding the functioning of anger by watching ourselves intensely in angry situations and keeping ourselves calm and peaceful.

Well my journey of self discovery continues and I will keep updating on other techniques to tackle the beast of anger, till then Stay Calm, Happy and Watch the Beast.

JKS

Now Just Sit!

A beutiful Story told by Osho:

A woodcutter used to go into the woods every day. Sometimes he had to remain hungry because it was raining; sometimes it was too hot, sometimes it was too cold.

A mystic lived in the woods. He watched the woodcutter growing old, sick, hungry, working hard the whole day. He said, ”Listen, why don’t you go a little further?”

The woodcutter said ”What am I going to get a little further? More wood? Unnecessarily carrying that wood for miles?” 

The mystic said, ”No. If you go a little further, you will find a copper mine. You can take the copper into the city, and that will be enough for seven days. You need not come every day to cut the wood.”

The man thought, ”Why not give it a try?”

He went in and found the mine. And he was so happy... he came back and fell at the feet of the mystic.

The mystic said, ”Don’t rejoice too much right now. You have to go a little deeper into the woods.”

”But,” he said, ”what is the point? Now I have got seven days’ food.”

The mystic said, ”Still....”

But the man said, ”I will lose the copper mine if I go further.”

He said, ”You go. You certainly will lose the copper mine, but there is a silver mine. And whatsoever you can bring will be enough for three months.”

”The mystic has proved right about the copper mine,” the woodcutter thought. ”Perhaps he is also right about the silver mine.” And he went in and found the silver mine.

And he came dancing, and he said, ”How can I pay you? My gratitude knows no bounds.”

The mystic said, ”Don’t be in a hurry. Go a little deeper.”

He said, ”No! I cannot. I will lose the silver mine.”

The mystic said, ”But there is a gold mine just few steps deeper.”

The woodcutter was hesitant. In fact, he was such a poor man, that having a silver mine – he had never dreamed of it.

But if the mystic is saying it, who knows? – he may still be right. And he found the gold mine. Now it was enough to come once a year.

But the mystic said, ”It will be a long time – one year from now you will be coming here. I am getting old – I may not be here, I may be gone. So I have to tell you, don’t stop at the gold mine. Just a little more....”

But the man said, ”Why? What is the point? You show me one thing, and the moment I get it, you immediately tell me to drop that and go ahead! Now I have found the gold mine!”

The mystic said, ”But there is a diamond mine just a few feet deeper in the forest.”

The woodcutter went that very day, and he found it. He brought many diamonds, and he said, ”This will be enough for my whole life.”

The mystic said, ”Now perhaps we may not meet again, so my last message is: now that you have enough for your whole life, go in! Forget the forest, the copper mine, the silver mine, the gold mine, the diamond mine. Now I give you the ultimate secret, the ultimate treasure that is within you. Your outer needs are fulfilled. Sit the way I am sitting here.”

The poor man said, ”Yes, I was wondering... you know all these things – why do you go on sitting here? The question has arisen again and again. And I was just going to ask, ‘Why don’t you get all those diamonds lying there? Only you know about them. All that gold! Why do you go on sitting under this tree?’”

The mystic said, ”After finding the diamonds, my master told me, ‘Now sit under this tree and go in.’”

The man dropped all the diamonds there, and he said, ”Perhaps we may not meet again. I don’t want to go home – I am going to sit here by your side. Please teach me how to go in, because I am a woodcutter. I know how to go deeper into the woods, but I don’t know how to go in.”

The mystic said, ”But all your diamonds, gold, copper, silver – all that will be lost, because all these things are valueless for one who goes in.”

The woodcutter said, ”Don’t be bothered about that. You have been right up to now. I trust you, that you will be right in this last stage too.”

Enjoy other interesting Stories told by Osho HERE!