Thursday, February 28, 2013

Children and Competition



My 3 year old lad has started his journey in the confused and hyper competitive world of schooling and education. He is now in the first step of his schooling career known as PLAYGROUP.

He enjoys going to school, spending two hours of his day there and as per his school's monthly report learning a gamut of Rhymes, Behavior practices and all sort of pictury stuff. Which by the way he rarely displays at home. It's O.K I don't complain as long as he enjoys it.

The year has almost ended and it is time for the Annual Sport Event. Invitations where sent, parents where informed, the play ground was readied and on the sunny, beautiful Saturday morning the event began.

The main event of games for children started after the usual line of speeches from the many chief and non-chief guests.

The first event for the Playgroup team was "Ball in the Basket". The idea was to encourage the cute little athletes to run a straight 20 Meters while picking a ball in the middle of the track and depositing the same inside a basket at the end of the track.

Instructions by the constantly moving and running teachers where given, the whistle was blown, out of the five little Olympians three started  and other two where too busy figuring out what the heck was happening there. A lot of cheers from the eager onlooking parents and guests and lot of running by both the little Olympians and their teachers in various directions resulted in the three starters eventually basketing the balls.

Result: All the three kids where on the podium, enjoying their moment of glory.

Similarly many competitions happened and many winners where announced.

It was now time for the medals distribution ceremony.

Kids where being launched on the podiums in their respective positions by their constantly hyper teachers, medals where being posted on their necks by the many assembled chief guests and photography posses and sessions where going on simultaneously. The parents and the onlookers where cheering for the winners and having a jolly good time.

Throughout this whole glorifying the winner ceremony the images that stuck with me are:
      A little boy who came first in an event was terrified and was weeping on the podium while he was shoved a certificate and a medal was hanged on his neck.
      Most of the children who enjoyed running, picking, skipping, hopping and falling in the events where not at all interested which position they where on the podium. The 1st, 2nd or 3rd didn't make much sense to them.

These images made me think is this how we shove the concept of competition in the clean and clear minds of our children? Is it not enough for us, if our kids just enjoy the play and not worry about the results? Is it really that important to glorify the so called winners and ignore the rest?

Most of the parents just enjoyed the show and left, but some were still discussing all the 101 reasons why their son/ daughter did not finish 1st, 2nd or 3rd.

What are we trying to convey to our children with these competitions and podium ceremonies?

Are we trying to say that just competing wholeheartedly and with intensity is not enough? They are winners only if they grab a podium position? Have they lost in their effort if they are not in the top three?

NO!

THEY ARE ALL WINNERS !


If they competed with intensity and wholeheartedness they are all winners. Winning and losing should not depend on which position the child achieved, it should depend on his involvement and intensity in the competition.

Competitions should enable the children to participate with complete intensity and focus. By which they will discover the benefits of performing tasks with focus and intensity. They will discover the latent energy and talent that they have and how to whip them up when needed.

Competitions when focused on stirring up the involvement and intensity of the participants, will eventually open up doorways within our kids, which will let them fully enjoy and get involved in each of the little things that they do in their life.

Ultimately I think life should be about small, infinite moments of enjoyment all through the life, than one or two (falsely project) great, glorious moments of winning.

JKS



How To Make Children Listen



I am a father to a 3 year old lad and he is definitely not the type who listens or even has inclination to do what he is told to do. As all the parents do I tried all the methods to make him listen and do what I want him to do.
I tried seducing him with sweet treats, it works the initial 5 attempts with degrading efficiency on each attempt,
I tried black mailing by describing mean extra terrestrial creature who will come and snatch his favorite thing (which changes on a weekly basis), it didn’t even make scratch on him on the contrary he enjoyed the whole drama.
I tried voice modulation techniques (also read as shouting at various sound levels), which basically results in me having sore throat and he matching my voice with his own version of Voice Modulation (which makes it impossible for me to maintain my prosthetic harsh look at him and stop laughing at his antics).
There where other stupid techniques that were tried and as usual failed  drastically.
As all hopes failed and all the internet based techniques failed to show any results, I remembered somebody telling me that ” Children learn the most by imitating”.
If imitation is their way of learning and if parents are the obvious choice to imitate then all I had to do was do the things that I want him to do myself in front of him.
I thought about it and contemplated a lot on this idea and wanted to try this method also.
The first thing I did was to put all his toys back to Toy Bag after his daily exploits, without asking him to do any of it. The first two days he ignored but the third day he joined me in putting his toys back in the bag. Then I starting having dinner at same time when my wife feeds him with all the skills of a Car Salesman, Lawyer and  Barathnatyam Dancer combined. He observed the poise with which we have our food and the enjoyment of it. It took some time and by about 10 days he started asking for his own plate and insisted that he will handle his food himself .
After about a month things started to fall in place.
THIS IDEA WORKS
We started to do things the way we want our three year old to do it and slowly, one by one the pieces in the puzzle are starting to fall in place.
There are some Off-Days when things go out of control and our Hero manages to get on our nerves. But at end of the day before sleeps envelopes me, I contemplate  on why this Off-Day happened. I by and large feel that we as his parents have something wrong. Either our behavior, our speech was not on par or our love for him on that day was not 100%.
Slowly every day I keep realizing that if we (parents) start observing ourselves, our behavior, our attitudes towards various aspect of life, our priorities and try correct many of the shortfalls in our own selves, then our children will automatically follow us. We don’t have to teach them a lot, they learn a lot quicker than us and are definitely a lot smarter than us. All we have to do is to make sure that environment in which they grow is fertile with vibrant energy, proper attitudes, calmness and great role models. Our children will on their own blossom into awesomely fragrant and energetic Human Beings, who will definitely make this place into a far better one than we have done so far.
JKS
Hyper Smash
P.S: It's just the beginning, the journey of experiments and self discovery continues........