Almost all the people I know keep complaining to me that I talk very less. The queries keep pouring from all corners, Why don't you talk? How can you not talk for so long? Why don't you say something? and the list goes on.
I wonder what all the fuss is all about. I believe people don't talk for two reasons.
The first being they have a lot to say, they want to talk but don't know how to say it and are afraid of expressing whats inside them. The other being that there is not much inside to come out and there is no genuine reason to talk.
I belong to the second category. I don't understand why I should talk just for the heck of it. If I have something to say I will definitely say it, but just muttering out something just because my mouth is free doesn't make sense.
When we are together my wife keeps telling me say something, don't be silent. I feel as if two people who know each other just cannot sit together and be silent. When they are silent it feels as if there is an undercurrent of tension between the two and the tension can be broken only by talking to each other. I feel this tension forces us to say something or the other in that situation.
I just wonder is speech the only way to communicate with the people we know. In case of strangers it's understandable that we need to talk to build a relationship, but what about the people whom we know intimately. Even with the people whom we share every thing in life, do we have to talk to express. Can't we just sit together hold hands and just enjoy each other company? Why do we feel uncomfortable when we are together and we don't talk?
One more thing that baffles me is that when two people talk, what I notice is that both are interested in saying something and nobody is interested in listening to what the other person says. It's like when one person talks the other person is preparing himself to say what he wants to say, rather than listen to what the other person is saying. It's not Talk & Listen routine that goes on but Talk & Talk keeps happening. So the end result is that both the persons have talked without listening to one another. I wonder what the heck did they talk? Was it a dialogue between two people or just each person doing his own monologue.
If this is the case that happens most of the time, then whats the point of replying to the other person. I can just keep quite and the other person will say what he wants to say in-spite of me saying anything. So I believe it's just better to keep quite, let the other person finish his speech and move on. There is no point replying him, since he will not listen to me anyway.
So the summary is :
People like to say something
They expect you to listen to them
They expect you to reply back
But they will not listen to your reply and
They will get angry if you don't reply or talk and
They will say YOU DON'T TALK.
Does it make any sense?
For more interesting articles on Human behavior check out my other posts at Confessions of a Family Man blog
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