How to Control Anger?

Anger! An emotion everyone experiences very often and are afraid of. The fear is not about anger itself but what we do when it envelopes us. It's like a storm which consumes us and makes us do things which we would not have done under normal circumstances. It makes us loose control on ourselves, we loose the sense of discretion and logical thinking, and finally it leaves a lot of damage behind which makes us regret our actions and carry the regret for rest of our lives.

Now to tackle this beast we need to understand it better. I am jotting down my understanding of Anger, lets see if it makes things clear about Anger.

1. Anger is a form of energy which wants to come out of our system

Like Joy, Happiness, Sorrow and Fear, Anger is an emotional energy which wants to be released and expressed by our system. Some people express it by throwing things and some by withdrawing themselves from the situation. When we are not able to express our energies in a positive and constructive manner, it can result in anger. Which is basically a forceful expression of our energies.

2. Anger depends upon our Internal State of Being, than the external situations

The reasons for getting angry are many and it's simply useless to list them. We can get angry on or because of anything or anybody. For example while driving if some one overtakes us rashly we can get angry and go after him and if the same thing happens when you are in a happy mood, you may just ignore that person. So the happenings because of which we get angry are only triggers, what is more important is in what state we are in at the moment. We have to understand that Anger is dependent on the state in which our mind, body and emotions are and not on external situations. If we can maintain out internal situation in a state of balance and calm, no external situation can cause anger to be generated in us. (Internal situation can be maintained better by understanding the Characteristics of Mind.)

3. Physical effects of Anger

Anger is like a disease which can be monitored by watching out for the symptoms. There are many symptoms for Anger:
Change in breathing pattern, heavy breathing, increase in body temperature, increased thought flow, loss of logical thinking, loss of discretionary thinking, increased hormonal (adrenalin) flow in the stomach and other part of the body etc.,
If we can observe these symptoms we can maintain a distance from anger and control it better.

4. Anger happens when our desires are not fulfilled

The basic trigger of anger are when our desires are not met. All the triggers of anger are just that, our unfulfilled desires, whether it's a desire to cruse smoothly on road, or have a quite undisturbed dinner with a loved one. When someone or something causes these desires to be unfulfilled it triggers the already bubbling volcano of anger inside and it results in we exploding in anger. (you can check out my article on What is a Desire for more information on desire)

If we can understand these characteristics of anger we will be in a better situation to handle it when it comes out and we can also take steps to prevent it from building up to the breaking point in the first place.

The various steps we can take to prevent anger building up and to control it when it comes out are:

1. Delay taking any action when we are angry. It's best sit through the storm of anger than do anything to express it.
2. Watch the show, Don't stop it. The trick is to just let things happen and watch the show. If your breathing is going up - Watch it, if you are getting hot - Watch it, If you are getting a strong urge to throw things around -  Watch it. Keep watching and slowly the anger will loose steam and come to a halt. If we try to stop it, the energy will go back inside the system and will wait for next opportunity to come out.
3.Yoga and Mediation will help in channeling the energy in the system in a proper and will help in preventing the energy build up which will lead to anger bursts. It will help in maintaining our internal situation in a balanced and peaceful state.
4.Physical exercise can help in dissipating the excess energy and can help in preventing anger.

Basically it's about understanding the functioning of anger by watching ourselves intensely in angry situations and keeping ourselves calm and peaceful.

Well my journey of self discovery continues and I will keep updating on other techniques to tackle the beast of anger, till then Stay Calm, Happy and Watch the Beast.

JKS